I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
