careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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