I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
