I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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