Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
