Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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