hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
