Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
