He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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