If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
