his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
