return my video game
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
