I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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