I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize