we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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