I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
