Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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