Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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