We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
