Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
