I just cut my nipple shaving
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
