Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
