and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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