Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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