can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
