I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
