i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
