apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
