And the cops told us we were all naked.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
