I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
