And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
