STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
God, I missed his penis.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
