I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
