Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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