and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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