love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
