yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
