He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
