Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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