Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
