I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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