so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
