Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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