dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
