dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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