you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
