how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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