I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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