I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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