this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
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Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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