using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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