Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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