for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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