I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
