End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
