I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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