absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
