Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
look no pants
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
